Nothing will make Max feel better faster than a couple of dick jokes.....
1) I'm not sure how I feel about masturbation, but on the one hand, it feels pretty great!
2) What's the difference between a dick and a bonus check? Someone is always down to blow your bonus.
3) What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef stroganoff.
4) What do a penis and Rubik's cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
5) I went out dressed as a chicken last night and met a girl who was dressed like an egg. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: It was the chicken.
6) How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
7) An old man is at his bedside praying when his wife says, "What are you doing?" "I'm praying for guidance," replies the man. "Just pray for stiffness," says the wife, "and I'll guide the fucker."