Observers' Rockwool Play

[tobh]

damn dude. take five, go for a walk, cool the nerves.

can't help with the baby mama, i got one too i just had to go wake up again because she needs to get some shit done before the kids come home. typical day in the house though.

good luck with recovering from the death of the monitor -- never a good time when something like that happens

 

[Observer]

damn dude. take five, go for a walk, cool the nerves.

can't help with the baby mama, i got one too i just had to go wake up again because she needs to get some shit done before the kids come home. typical day in the house though.

good luck with recovering from the death of the monitor -- never a good time when something like that happens

Right

you know exactly how it is.


Everything just finally getting to me today. I'm slowing chillin out now.

About to roll a blunt have no took anything yet today

/Meds

Thanks man, glad you're here to relate too lol.

Oh mines, fucking gone so I'm dealing with everything by my self as usual.

 

[Observer]

It's just builds and builds and builds up till reset(trip) or explode

Finally built up today and letting the steam out.

Her stupid ass cats are ruining my new sofa too.

Leather getting scratched and tore.

 

[tobh]

Right

you know exactly how it is.


Everything just finally getting to me today. I'm slowing chillin out now.

About to roll a blunt have no took anything yet today

/Meds

Thanks man, glad you're here to relate too lol.

Oh mines, fucking gone so I'm dealing with everything by my self as usual.

sometimes i wish mine would be gone. i deal with everything as it is, her not being here actually makes it easier as i don't deal with her being pissed off i'm doing all her chores that she doesn't do anyways.

plus, shit gets done how i like it to be done -- meaning, thoroughly and correctly. no half assed "i swept and mopped" where the floor is still gritty when you walk barefoot on it bullshit, and sinks that are actually clean instead of looking like someone vomited toothpaste all over.

i'll commiserate with you any time bud.

 

[Observer]

sometimes i wish mine would be gone. i deal with everything as it is, her not being here actually makes it easier as i don't deal with her being pissed off i'm doing all her chores that she doesn't do anyways.

plus, shit gets done how i like it to be done -- meaning, thoroughly and correctly. no half assed "i swept and mopped" where the floor is still gritty when you walk barefoot on it bullshit, and sinks that are actually clean instead of looking like someone vomited toothpaste all over.

i'll commiserate with you any time bud.

Right, usually get that freedom at night but she's working only like 25-30 hours a week right now and wants to give me shit for not holding a job in the passed, mofo I'm here with the baby 24/7

Division of labor pick one and take care of it

She's laying in bed on her phone or working 3-4 nights a week and thats the majority of what she does.

God damn I had to explain water usage to her, fast water or slow water, 150 gallons is still 150 gallons wether it fills up slow or fast. Now I'm second guessing my self.

Won't take care of her fucking cats either barely
I get it you're depressed everyone is fucked, but shit still has to get done.

 

[Observer]

This bitch had the nerve to say my daughter would be better off without me when I'm the one that wakes up majority of the time for her

 

[tobh]

Right, usually get that freedom at night but she's working only like 25-30 hours a week right now and wants to give me shit for not holding a job in the passed, mofo I'm here with the baby 24/7

Division of labor pick one and take care of it

She's laying in bed on her phone or working 3-4 nights a week and thats the majority of what she does.

God damn I had to explain water usage to her, fast water or slow water, 150 gallons is still 150 gallons wether it fills up slow or fast. Now I'm second guessing my self.

Won't take care of her fucking cats either barely
I get it you're depressed everyone is fucked, but shit still has to get done.

man, my nephew deals with that superiority bullshit too. the only difference is he just turned 16, oregon wouldn't grant him a work permit last year because his living situation has been fucked for over two years (my brother kicked him out of the kid smoking weed). his lady does the same shit to him all the time.

it's fucking bullshit.

it's one thing to hold a full time job and take care of one or two chores while the other is a stay at home parent and manages the children/pets/bulk of chores. division of responsibilities. just because one works does not negate the fact that functional adults still have responsibilities for home upkeep. expecting the stay at home parent to carry everything is bullshit, and if that's the assumption then it's no longer a partnership.

likewise, if the stay at home parent doesn't handle the home stuff then it's not a partnership.

there's no fucking point in that kind of relationship because y'all end up fighting against each other instead of building together.

utilities, though, man... they're a motherfucker to explain to someone that doesn't understand how they get billed out. like you said, the volume is the volume, it costs just as much per gallon whether you trickle the faucet or turn it full bore. same with electricity -- a kW is a kW, turn off the fucking light switch when you the leave the room! just about the only thing that's constant is garbage service, but even that's wasteful if a motherfucker don't get the cans out for pickup.

and using the crutch of mental illness.... ugh i hate that shit. everyone is stressed out and depressed, but most of us manage to get up every day, put on our adult pants, and get shit done. using one's mental illness to diminish another's is arguably the most narcissistic thing i've experienced yet. like a pissing contest of scars. this is a fundamental reason i've been looking for a family lawyer for a while because i refuse to pay child support to someone that can't even get out of bed daily despite being in therapy for two years and on meds. i'm unmedicated bipolar and manage to get my shit done on teh daily despite having this goddamn fever and fatigue for over a month now. life sucks, you gotta push through or go find a fucking hole and rot alone.

#endrant

 

[tobh]

This bitch had the nerve to say my daughter would be better off without me when I'm the one that wakes up majority of the time for her

sounds like y'all are at that first major breaking point in a relationship with a child. y'all gotta figure out how to communicate and lay everything out in the open or it'll break you both as people. then, neither of you will be worth a shit for your daughter.

that conversation isn't a comfortable one but the best thing you both can do is try to keep your heads cool, speak only of your own experiences and feelings, and actively listen to each other. getting some common ground is the main goal. if things get heated, taking a time out is completely ok, and really the responsible thing to do because arguing and yelling will not solve anything.

it helped in my situation when my son was about 18months to 2 years old. at this point, i don't give a fuck about the relationship anymore, though. i just keep it going for the not great reason of the kids having both parents under the same roof.

 

[Observer]

man, my nephew deals with that superiority bullshit too. the only difference is he just turned 16, oregon wouldn't grant him a work permit last year because his living situation has been fucked for over two years (my brother kicked him out of the kid smoking weed). his lady does the same shit to him all the time.

it's fucking bullshit.

it's one thing to hold a full time job and take care of one or two chores while the other is a stay at home parent and manages the children/pets/bulk of chores. division of responsibilities. just because one works does not negate the fact that functional adults still have responsibilities for home upkeep. expecting the stay at home parent to carry everything is bullshit, and if that's the assumption then it's no longer a partnership.

likewise, if the stay at home parent doesn't handle the home stuff then it's not a partnership.

there's no fucking point in that kind of relationship because y'all end up fighting against each other instead of building together.

utilities, though, man... they're a motherfucker to explain to someone that doesn't understand how they get billed out. like you said, the volume is the volume, it costs just as much per gallon whether you trickle the faucet or turn it full bore. same with electricity -- a kW is a kW, turn off the fucking light switch when you the leave the room! just about the only thing that's constant is garbage service, but even that's wasteful if a motherfucker don't get the cans out for pickup.

and using the crutch of mental illness.... ugh i hate that shit. everyone is stressed out and depressed, but most of us manage to get up every day, put on our adult pants, and get shit done. using one's mental illness to diminish another's is arguably the most narcissistic thing i've experienced yet. like a pissing contest of scars. this is a fundamental reason i've been looking for a family lawyer for a while because i refuse to pay child support to someone that can't even get out of bed daily despite being in therapy for two years and on meds. i'm unmedicated bipolar and manage to get my shit done on teh daily despite having this goddamn fever and fatigue for over a month now. life sucks, you gotta push through or go find a fucking hole and rot alone.

#endrant

Well put.

Completely agree, I don't want to be lazy either or not carry my weight and of course I want to be fair

Just fuck some things need to be communicated again and better

We both still learning I'm 26 but getting there, did not have the best developmental child life either so I feel behind too.

She's younger than me and shit was fucked for her too but can't just keep using mental illness as an excuse to not do things.

We all are are fucked in someway , I get it. Buts it's been 2 years of this shit now with her

 

[Observer]

man, my nephew deals with that superiority bullshit too. the only difference is he just turned 16, oregon wouldn't grant him a work permit last year because his living situation has been fucked for over two years (my brother kicked him out of the kid smoking weed). his lady does the same shit to him all the time.

it's fucking bullshit.

it's one thing to hold a full time job and take care of one or two chores while the other is a stay at home parent and manages the children/pets/bulk of chores. division of responsibilities. just because one works does not negate the fact that functional adults still have responsibilities for home upkeep. expecting the stay at home parent to carry everything is bullshit, and if that's the assumption then it's no longer a partnership.

likewise, if the stay at home parent doesn't handle the home stuff then it's not a partnership.

there's no fucking point in that kind of relationship because y'all end up fighting against each other instead of building together.

utilities, though, man... they're a motherfucker to explain to someone that doesn't understand how they get billed out. like you said, the volume is the volume, it costs just as much per gallon whether you trickle the faucet or turn it full bore. same with electricity -- a kW is a kW, turn off the fucking light switch when you the leave the room! just about the only thing that's constant is garbage service, but even that's wasteful if a motherfucker don't get the cans out for pickup.

and using the crutch of mental illness.... ugh i hate that shit. everyone is stressed out and depressed, but most of us manage to get up every day, put on our adult pants, and get shit done. using one's mental illness to diminish another's is arguably the most narcissistic thing i've experienced yet. like a pissing contest of scars. this is a fundamental reason i've been looking for a family lawyer for a while because i refuse to pay child support to someone that can't even get out of bed daily despite being in therapy for two years and on meds. i'm unmedicated bipolar and manage to get my shit done on teh daily despite having this goddamn fever and fatigue for over a month now. life sucks, you gotta push through or go find a fucking hole and rot alone.

#endrant

But she's not too depressed to where she can get up and go to the fair with her "family"? Be gone all day, work tonight, come back home and complain how she's too tired and tired for her daughter, etc.

 

[Observer]

Yu can probably throw out 5 mental disorders, I could probably diagnosed with them

Never had the care I needed so never got actually diagnosed with anything, but obviously I'm fucking all over the place and other apparent issues

High-functioning autist or sociopath, lol.

 

[tobh]

Well put.

Completely agree, I don't want to be lazy either or not carry my weight and of course I want to be fair

Just fuck some things need to be communicated again and better

We both still learning I'm 26 but getting there, did not have the best developmental child life either so I feel behind too.

She's younger than me and shit was fucked for her too but can't just keep using mental illness as an excuse to not do things.

We all are are fucked in someway , I get it. Buts it's been 2 years of this shit now with her

five years here, man. the ebbs and flows get more and more irritating until you either stop giving a shit and accept that the most consistency you'll get out of the person is their complete lack of reliability, or you break ties and figure out a coparenting situation.

But she's not too depressed to where she can get up and go to the fair with her "family"? Be gone all day, work tonight, come back home and complain how she's too tired and tired for her daughter, etc.

funny how that works, huh?

too depressed to get out of bed to feed the kids breakfast, but ok enough to take a week vacation in vegas or california with friends, or go to concerts, or, well, do literally anything with anyone outside of this house.

it's a fucking excuse man. a cop out instead of saying outright, "i want someone to take care of everything at home for me." in which case, that should be communicated and appropriate budgeting and planning made around that.

hell, i'm to the point i'm thinking about hiring a house keeper to come in three times a week to clean. passive aggressive af, but clearly explaining expectations hasn't worked up to this point.

 

[Observer]

Time to partake a little.

No worries, no one getting "fucked up" right now.

Gotta take care of my lovely daughter still.

 

[tobh]

a nice ass and good head only go so far, ya know. when you sign up for a partnership, the expectation is the workload gets split in all aspects of life together. if one side isn't pulling there weight, then it's time for a conversation. if the conversation doesn't yield results, other decisions have to be made.

like i've told my lady, i can get pussy anywhere, and a lot of what i can pull would kill for the life i offer. the only thing she has that they don't is the legal system ready to take a chunk of my paycheck to give to her for free and fuck me out of being a part of my kid's life.

 

[Observer]

five years here, man. the ebbs and flows get more and more irritating until you either stop giving a shit and accept that the most consistency you'll get out of the person is their complete lack of reliability, or you break ties and figure out a coparenting situation.

funny how that works, huh?

too depressed to get out of bed to feed the kids breakfast, but ok enough to take a week vacation in vegas or california with friends, or go to concerts, or, well, do literally anything with anyone outside of this house.

it's a fucking excuse man. a cop out instead of saying outright, "i want someone to take care of everything at home for me." in which case, that should be communicated and appropriate budgeting and planning made around that.

hell, i'm to the point i'm thinking about hiring a house keeper to come in three times a week to clean. passive aggressive af, but clearly explaining expectations hasn't worked up to this point.

At first it was kinda me I wasn't ready or didn't "man up" yet for my child but I was actually working 40hours+ open to close at restaurants providing money the first 7 months while her sole job was baby and a 700 sq for apartment

I know baby isn't easy but fucking hell, division of labor is how I see it to make things fair.

But now I'm getting back on my shit and she isnt

 

[tobh]

At first it was kinda me I wasn't ready or didn't "man up" yet for my child but I was actually working 40hours+ open to close at restaurants providing money the first 7 months while her sole job was baby and a 700 sq for apartment

I know baby isn't easy but fucking hell, division of labor is how I see it to make things fair.

But now I'm getting back on my shit and she isnt

just keep your eye on the prize, man. show your daughter what a man is, always treat her mother with respect and love when your daughter is around (you should always be respectful to women anyways, even when they don't show you respect). it's hard af to do more often than not but be the kind of man you want your daughter to end up with, and she'll develop a sense of independence and tenacity watching you take on these challenges while you become a better version of yourself.

 

[Observer]

a nice ass and good head only go so far, ya know. when you sign up for a partnership, the expectation is the workload gets split in all aspects of life together. if one side isn't pulling there weight, then it's time for a conversation. if the conversation doesn't yield results, other decisions have to be made.

like i've told my lady, i can get pussy anywhere, and a lot of what i can pull would kill for the life i offer. the only thing she has that they don't is the legal system ready to take a chunk of my paycheck to give to her for free and fuck me out of being a part of my kid's life.

Right.

I would like a "proper" family for violet and with her but we gotta really work something out or so.

Just even more stressful not even having my car anymore, I relied on only my self but now I just can't physically do all this, her, laundry, house, fucking having time for my self? My hobby?

My entertainment, my medicine? (Weed/shrooms)

I'm trying to be better, do the same, with me, or fuck off.

 

[Observer]

just keep your eye on the prize, man. show your daughter what a man is, always treat her mother with respect and love when your daughter is around (you should always be respectful to women anyways, even when they don't show you respect). it's hard af to do more often than not but be the kind of man you want your daughter to end up with, and she'll develop a sense of independence and tenacity watching you take on these challenges while you become a better version of yourself.

Some things I really need to work on better too and controlling my volume.

 

[tobh]

the volume man... that's the tricky one. as men we inherently talk louder as it is. i'm constantly getting called out for "yelling" even though there's a big difference between being engaged in a conversation vs when i'm barking to get someone's attention.

it's a challenge. even more so when some booze has been introduced into the mix.

 

[tobh]

an exercise one of my old shrinks gave me was when i start to feel excited during a conversation, force myself to talk quieter. it's really, really hard to do, but it forces you to think before just spitting whatever words out and also forces the opposing party to listen more closely, which psychologically makes their brain actually process what they're hearing instead of just them waiting for their turn to speak.

 

[Observer]

Thank you @tobh

 

[Observer]

Philosophy ish lol

 

[Observer]

thanks man

 

[Observer]

an exercise one of my old shrinks gave me was when i start to feel excited during a conversation, force myself to talk quieter. it's really, really hard to do, but it forces you to think before just spitting whatever words out and also forces the opposing party to listen more closely, which psychologically makes their brain actually process what they're hearing instead of just them waiting for their turn to speak.

Clever

 

[tobh]

Clever

it's surprisingly effective with kids. my seven year old already recognizes (has for a while) that when dad gets real quiet, you better listen real close or shit is about to hit the fan.

 

[Observer]

like, oh shit, hes being patient. uhhh

lol

 

[tobh]

like, oh shit, hes being patient. uhhh

lol

i think it's more so, dad is always pretty loud when he speaks. he only gets this quiet when he's really, really angry and something is either getting thrown away, or wall sits are about to be dished out.

 

[Observer]

i think it's more so, dad is always pretty loud when he speaks. he only gets this quiet when he's really, really angry and something is either getting thrown away, or wall sits are about to be dished out.

yep

 

[Observer]

Guess I should turn the light off at some point huh? Lol

24h low PPFD cloning?

 

[Observer]

Leaving the dome off for a little, see if I can force a response.

They don't have as much of a reason to root if everything is handed to em supposedly.

Some wilting is good

 

[tobh]

i leave the light on 24/7 for clones. even once they set root, i leave em under low low ppfd (literally just the room light) until they get planted in whatever media.

shit i've got 18 right now with roots bursting out of the rooters. the recipient needs to come pick these up tomorrow or they're gonna be fucked. i ain't feeding these bitches lol

 

[Observer]

i leave the light on 24/7 for clones. even once they set root, i leave em under low low ppfd (literally just the room light) until they get planted in whatever media.

shit i've got 18 right now with roots bursting out of the rooters. the recipient needs to come pick these up tomorrow or they're gonna be fucked. i ain't feeding these bitches lol

Haha sweet man good to hear

Don't think I got an extra timer for that light anyways and I don't feel like fucking with it unless needed.

Got the dial down.

 

[Observer]

@CannaGranny Tuco Seed has popped it appears, see a white line and a crack

 

[Anthem275]

At first it was kinda me I wasn't ready or didn't "man up" yet for my child but I was actually working 40hours+ open to close at restaurants providing money the first 7 months while her sole job was baby and a 700 sq for apartment

I know baby isn't easy but fucking hell, division of labor is how I see it to make things fair.

But now I'm getting back on my shit and she isnt

Observer it will never be 50/50 life usually does not work that way.

 

[Anthem275]

Right.

I would like a "proper" family for violet and with her but we gotta really work something out or so.

Just even more stressful not even having my car anymore, I relied on only my self but now I just can't physically do all this, her, laundry, house, fucking having time for my self? My hobby?

My entertainment, my medicine? (Weed/shrooms)

I'm trying to be better, do the same, with me, or fuck off.

Try to find a balance in your life!!!!

 

[Observer]

Observer it will never be 50/50 life usually does not work that way.

Starting to see that and that's okay.

 

[Observer]

Try to find a balance in your life!!!!

Thanks anthem

 

[Observer]

Still looking good, PPFD was like 25-75

Now it's around 150-225

Typing such big ranges here as I'm just using a fuckin app and a phone light sensor to "measure" PPFD

4000k spectrum 150watt LM301D LED panel+UV/IR

 

[Observer]

Still looking good, have the dome off for about 30 o so now

 

[Observer]

took more clones

do you guys have to water the cubes again before roots show usually?