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The Psyche Gardens

Observer said:
Not wrong, if I hit the THC I'd chill out a bit, but it's crazy, I'm not even hitting It much, usually I am......


Just life's trauma

Just wanna end it all sometimes
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No man, don't say that. There are lows, but persevere, it might seem like you got a crummy hand, i get it, but there's always good in it somewhere. I am still dealing with the fact that i could have a much better job, was offered two jobs the past 3 years that would have changed my life, but was turned away after background check for something 20 years ago.

I know we're all different, if you can use that negative pull towards motivation that these cock suckers can't hold you back, you change the game.

I could tell, probably most of us, that you are going through a hard time. I was in a bad spot more than once in my life, navigate the wave as best you can, it will pass.

If i can do anything, just let me know. I'm in Northern VA
 
ninjadip said:
How we doing today
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Hey man

Appreciate you

Another day down, the "triggers" come and go....

Working on the coping Mechanisms.

I could just flat out say the main thing that fucks with my mind and is painful, but yeah it's heavy and a grow forum, so I'm going to leave it that.

Talked with My other buddy about it today at work a little,I guess that might help but yeah....painful trauma.

I didn't work too hard thus morning, but after lunch got with it.

Clearing drains so water can flow properly and drain.


Another day in....."paradise".....

At least it's consistent and stable.


But fuck, my brain contemplates the entire fucking universe, but im over here digging fucking dirt out of creeks.

Fuck me.

Some of the golfers thanked us and appreciated our work, they saw us 2 busting ass last week, that's cool and nice to be "appreciated it in you're work"

Some of those retired dudes, are there every fucking day, it's a sport, a game, I respect that, like I have my game, league of legends, good to keep the brain sharp, thinking, PvP, competitive As Fuck, I use to play that shit 18 hours a day when i was younger, sometims 3 days straight, when I can't sleep/insomnia.

And now I wanna try golfing once and see how I like it.


I'm burnt, this week.
Out of stimulants/pain killers.
Didn't even eat yesterday, wasn't in the mood.

Little tipsy right now, so I'm "rambling/opening up more"


"Work hard, party harder."
 
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ninjadip said:
No man, don't say that. There are lows, but persevere, it might seem like you got a crummy hand, i get it, but there's always good in it somewhere. I am still dealing with the fact that i could have a much better job, was offered two jobs the past 3 years that would have changed my life, but was turned away after background check for something 20 years ago.

I know we're all different, if you can use that negative pull towards motivation that these cock suckers can't hold you back, you change the game.

I could tell, probably most of us, that you are going through a hard time. I was in a bad spot more than once in my life, navigate the wave as best you can, it will pass.
Click to expand...

ninjadip said:
If i can do anything, just let me know. I'm in Northern VA
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I appreciate that alot, means alot to me, I don't wanna ask anything and/also I think I'm mostly okay now, I have paychecks coming in and can stable-y afford my hotel rooms so I have somewhere to put my head at night besides the street, again.

I get my second paycheck Friday, it's not much but it'll be enough to pay for hotel nights till next paycheck.

I need to try to not spend too much on alcohol, nicotine, or THC, or Kratom.
I can go cold-turkey on the alcohol, I probably should for a little, but I don't want to either, I figure atleast, if you have "20 drinks" then make it 10 at least.

Stopped drinking 100 proof vodka, and going back to just 70-80 rum and coke/cocktails-instead of shots.

Trying to be better.

its hard when youre depressed and in a "fuck it" mood.

Save up what I can and aim for apartment soon...
 
Observer said:
I appreciate that alot, means alot to me, I don't wanna ask anything and/also I think I'm mostly okay now, I have paychecks coming in and can stable-y afford my hotel rooms so I have somewhere to put my head at night besides the street, again.

I get my second paycheck Friday, it's not much but it'll be enough to pay for hotel nights till next paycheck.

I need to try to not spend too much on alcohol, nicotine, or THC, or Kratom.
I can go cold-turkey on the alcohol, I probably should for a little, but I don't want to either, I figure atleast, if you have "20 drinks" then make it 10 at least.

Stopped drinking 100 proof vodka, and going back to just 70-80 rum and coke/cocktails-instead of shots.

Trying to be better.

its hard when youre depressed and in a "fuck it" mood.

Save up what I can and aim for apartment soon...
Click to expand...
You got it man, thank you for the update

At least they aren't hitting golf balls at you for fun, which happened to me a lot mowing greens

Heavy alcohol will only make it worse, usually.

One more day and you'll get to that apartment in no time
 
Observer said:
"Work hard, party harder."
Click to expand...
I’ve found work smarter is better.

Hold back on the play harder a while. Stick with the work harder for now.

You got a good thing going that has room to move up. You don’t need to fuck it up.

Breaking a cart isn’t a great start. You need this job. The start of your future plans hangs on it.

You’re not a kid anymore. You want respect and better opportunities you earn them. You have a wife and kid that depend on you. Take this job seriously and don’t shit were you eat. Lay off the booze and anything else for a bit.

Get your life in line. You have a bunch of people who care about you. But you have to do your part. No more self destructive actions.

Not trying to be a dick, just know you can do better. I/we want to see you succeed. So start treating yourself better. 👊
 
I work hard and sleep hard.
Does that count for anything beyond a paycheck? ;clp

Here's the deal to doing decent in the beginning.
When you have money you have no time.
When you have time you have no money.
That can be a major hurdle for many to get through.
Stash cash man.
 
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i had a few serious things typed out but nothing that hasn't already been said above..

keep your nose down, stay out of trouble, and find your new buzz that comes from success and self worth!!!

giphy.gif
 
steamroller said:
I work hard and sleep hard.
Does that count for anything beyond a paycheck? ;clp

Here's the deal to doing decent in the beginning.
When you have money you have no time.
When you have time you have no money.
That can be a major hurdle for many to get through.
Click to expand...

steamroller said:
Stash cash man.
Click to expand...
Hell yea.

You familiar with r/wallstreetbets?
Thinking about stocks/trading when i het some money, I've been watching that shit thr last 5 years.

Some are straight gambling but holy shit, some put in 5k, get 100k back off calls/puts.....

And insider trading congress/senators, lol.
 
Zen_seeker said:
I’ve found work smarter is better.

Hold back on the play harder a while. Stick with the work harder for now.

You got a good thing going that has room to move up. You don’t need to fuck it up.

Breaking a cart isn’t a great start. You need this job. The start of your future plans hangs on it.

You’re not a kid anymore. You want respect and better opportunities you earn them. You have a wife and kid that depend on you. Take this job seriously and don’t shit were you eat. Lay off the booze and anything else for a bit.

Get your life in line. You have a bunch of people who care about you. But you have to do your part. No more self destructive actions.

Not trying to be a dick, just know you can do better. I/we want to see you succeed. So start treating yourself better. 👊
Click to expand...
100%
 
Zen_seeker said:
I’ve found work smarter is better.

Hold back on the play harder a while. Stick with the work harder for now.

You got a good thing going that has room to move up. You don’t need to fuck it up.

Breaking a cart isn’t a great start. You need this job. The start of your future plans hangs on it.

You’re not a kid anymore. You want respect and better opportunities you earn them. You have a wife and kid that depend on you. Take this job seriously and don’t shit were you eat. Lay off the booze and anything else for a bit.

Get your life in line. You have a bunch of people who care about you. But you have to do your part. No more self destructive actions.

Not trying to be a dick, just know you can do better. I/we want to see you succeed. So start treating yourself better. 👊
Click to expand...
Told boss about cart, he drove it around, said it's fine, drive it. Lol
 
Dealing with, processing some very heavy deep shit Traumatic Experiences, Currently.

It's hard to let go and get over.

Especially when you're brain remembers everything to the detail

I'll get over it eventually but God damn
 
7cc of A-BV, 3lb bag. (Albino Bluey Vuitton)

I'm getting some of my grow stuff from my wife's mom's apartment today around 6-7pm. 😎

Ima set up some plants and start the "hotel grow journal".

Missing the green babies sfm, very therapeutic for me.
 

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ninjadip said:
How you doing buddy, was just thinking about checking in with you today, funny how the universe works
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Indeed, right?

Well, to be honest, "bad shit" keeps happening, it's always something, but im pushing through and trying to keep my head up.

Rn I'm trying to relax, get food, get ready for this work week.

I started a germination process for some seeds an hour ago, I miss my plants, therapeutic.

That'll help me pull through, if not cause any other problems.....

Eventually everything will be okay, I'm on the right path again, working full time, atleast.

Trying to get back on my feet.
 
Observer said:
Indeed, right?

Well, to be honest, "bad shit" keeps happening, it's always something, but im pushing through and trying to keep my head up.

Rn I'm trying to relax, get food, get ready for this work week.

I started a germination process for some seeds an hour ago, I miss my plants, therapeutic.

That'll help me pull through, if not cause any other problems.....

Eventually everything will be okay, I'm on the right path again, working full time, atleast.

Trying to get back on my feet.
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I'm glad to hear your mind is in a good place man, for real. I get you on the plant therapy, it's helped me more than once as well. What seeds did you drop?
 
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