The Psyche Gardens

I fucked up the cart maybe lmfao

I fucking 5th gear top speed (15-25?)
Over a bump lmfao, might of fucked hp the rear differential or axel, I'll eat shit in the morning and let boss know I fucked up & own up.to it lolol.

Pepsi flew everywhere, French fries and burger in the air, front end caught some air lmfaooooo, fuck it was a fun roller-coaster.

I cut off too soon before the turn and saw the bump last minute and for some reason said fuck it, and I gassed it through lmfao, full send.

Was fun but now I probably need to fully tell boss what happened so we can just fix it before it gets worse, lol.
 
I fucked up the cart maybe lmfao

I fucking 5th gear top speed (15-25?)
Over a bump lmfao, might of fucked hp the rear differential or axel, I'll eat shit in the morning and let boss know I fucked up & own up.to it lolol.

Pepsi flew everywhere, French fries and burger in the air, front end caught some air lmfaooooo, fuck it was a fun roller-coaster.

I cut off too soon before the turn and saw the bump last minute and for some reason said fuck it, and I gassed it through lmfao, full send.

Was fun but now I probably need to fully tell boss what happened so we can just fix it before it gets worse, lol.
Send it!
 
I fucked up the cart maybe lmfao

I fucking 5th gear top speed (15-25?)
Over a bump lmfao, might of fucked hp the rear differential or axel, I'll eat shit in the morning and let boss know I fucked up & own up.to it lolol.

Pepsi flew everywhere, French fries and burger in the air, front end caught some air lmfaooooo, fuck it was a fun roller-coaster.

I cut off too soon before the turn and saw the bump last minute and for some reason said fuck it, and I gassed it through lmfao, full send.

Was fun but now I probably need to fully tell boss what happened so we can just fix it before it gets worse, lol.
Just be careful man, you need this gig!
 
Take some dabs, it helps.

What's going on man
Not wrong, if I hit the THC I'd chill out a bit, but it's crazy, I'm not even hitting It much, usually I am......


Just life's trauma

Just wanna end it all sometimes
 
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Not wrong, if I hit the THC I'd chill out a bit, but it's crazy, I'm not even hitting It much, usually I am......


Just life's trauma

Just wanna end it all sometimes
No man, don't say that. There are lows, but persevere, it might seem like you got a crummy hand, i get it, but there's always good in it somewhere. I am still dealing with the fact that i could have a much better job, was offered two jobs the past 3 years that would have changed my life, but was turned away after background check for something 20 years ago.

I know we're all different, if you can use that negative pull towards motivation that these cock suckers can't hold you back, you change the game.

I could tell, probably most of us, that you are going through a hard time. I was in a bad spot more than once in my life, navigate the wave as best you can, it will pass.

If i can do anything, just let me know. I'm in Northern VA
 
How we doing today
Hey man

Appreciate you

Another day down, the "triggers" come and go....

Working on the coping Mechanisms.

I could just flat out say the main thing that fucks with my mind and is painful, but yeah it's heavy and a grow forum, so I'm going to leave it that.

Talked with My other buddy about it today at work a little,I guess that might help but yeah....painful trauma.

I didn't work too hard thus morning, but after lunch got with it.

Clearing drains so water can flow properly and drain.


Another day in....."paradise".....

At least it's consistent and stable.


But fuck, my brain contemplates the entire fucking universe, but im over here digging fucking dirt out of creeks.

Fuck me.

Some of the golfers thanked us and appreciated our work, they saw us 2 busting ass last week, that's cool and nice to be "appreciated it in you're work"

Some of those retired dudes, are there every fucking day, it's a sport, a game, I respect that, like I have my game, league of legends, good to keep the brain sharp, thinking, PvP, competitive As Fuck, I use to play that shit 18 hours a day when i was younger, sometims 3 days straight, when I can't sleep/insomnia.

And now I wanna try golfing once and see how I like it.


I'm burnt, this week.
Out of stimulants/pain killers.
Didn't even eat yesterday, wasn't in the mood.

Little tipsy right now, so I'm "rambling/opening up more"


"Work hard, party harder."
 
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No man, don't say that. There are lows, but persevere, it might seem like you got a crummy hand, i get it, but there's always good in it somewhere. I am still dealing with the fact that i could have a much better job, was offered two jobs the past 3 years that would have changed my life, but was turned away after background check for something 20 years ago.

I know we're all different, if you can use that negative pull towards motivation that these cock suckers can't hold you back, you change the game.

I could tell, probably most of us, that you are going through a hard time. I was in a bad spot more than once in my life, navigate the wave as best you can, it will pass.

If i can do anything, just let me know. I'm in Northern VA
I appreciate that alot, means alot to me, I don't wanna ask anything and/also I think I'm mostly okay now, I have paychecks coming in and can stable-y afford my hotel rooms so I have somewhere to put my head at night besides the street, again.

I get my second paycheck Friday, it's not much but it'll be enough to pay for hotel nights till next paycheck.

I need to try to not spend too much on alcohol, nicotine, or THC, or Kratom.
I can go cold-turkey on the alcohol, I probably should for a little, but I don't want to either, I figure atleast, if you have "20 drinks" then make it 10 at least.

Stopped drinking 100 proof vodka, and going back to just 70-80 rum and coke/cocktails-instead of shots.

Trying to be better.

its hard when youre depressed and in a "fuck it" mood.

Save up what I can and aim for apartment soon...
 
I appreciate that alot, means alot to me, I don't wanna ask anything and/also I think I'm mostly okay now, I have paychecks coming in and can stable-y afford my hotel rooms so I have somewhere to put my head at night besides the street, again.

I get my second paycheck Friday, it's not much but it'll be enough to pay for hotel nights till next paycheck.

I need to try to not spend too much on alcohol, nicotine, or THC, or Kratom.
I can go cold-turkey on the alcohol, I probably should for a little, but I don't want to either, I figure atleast, if you have "20 drinks" then make it 10 at least.

Stopped drinking 100 proof vodka, and going back to just 70-80 rum and coke/cocktails-instead of shots.

Trying to be better.

its hard when youre depressed and in a "fuck it" mood.

Save up what I can and aim for apartment soon...
You got it man, thank you for the update

At least they aren't hitting golf balls at you for fun, which happened to me a lot mowing greens

Heavy alcohol will only make it worse, usually.

One more day and you'll get to that apartment in no time
 
"Work hard, party harder."
I’ve found work smarter is better.

Hold back on the play harder a while. Stick with the work harder for now.

You got a good thing going that has room to move up. You don’t need to fuck it up.

Breaking a cart isn’t a great start. You need this job. The start of your future plans hangs on it.

You’re not a kid anymore. You want respect and better opportunities you earn them. You have a wife and kid that depend on you. Take this job seriously and don’t shit were you eat. Lay off the booze and anything else for a bit.

Get your life in line. You have a bunch of people who care about you. But you have to do your part. No more self destructive actions.

Not trying to be a dick, just know you can do better. I/we want to see you succeed. So start treating yourself better. 👊
 
You will never know a finer self, a happier self, and a more dedicated and thoughtful self to those around you than the version of yourself that does not drink booze.
 
I work hard and sleep hard.
Does that count for anything beyond a paycheck? ;clp

Here's the deal to doing decent in the beginning.
When you have money you have no time.
When you have time you have no money.
That can a major hurdle for many to get through.
Stash cash man.
 
i had a few serious things typed out but nothing that hasn't already been said above..

keep your nose down, stay out of trouble, and find your new buzz that comes from success and self worth!!!

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